Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Poll on office people
Here's a small poll for you guys. Will be back with the full scoop over the Weekend. Cheers.
Posted by melvin at 9:50 PM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Technique learned 2
Tadah! I got upgraded again! Since Wilmer is leaving the company, which means 1 less person to do the shitty jobs, the buck got passed to me. Now I'm Ping Office Boy cum Writer-for-Livewell cum Logistics. So much cum(No pun intended. Seriously.) With so much work to do eg: Calling companies and ask them to send product samples to us but most likely NOT going to be published so that someone can bring them home, corresponding to companies to arrange deliveries, photocopying invoices, sending out magazine etc, there's hardly a dull moment. Hardly.
Moving into the segment proper, I'm sure this is what you all have been waiting for.
How to Photocopy Both Sides
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1. Acquire the document(s) of interest for photocopying.
2. If the copier is not active, please ensure it is by pressing the 'on' button.
3. Lift cover, align desired page to copy face down and gently re-cover the lid. Neglecting this step will result in either printed pages with no ink, or when the lid makes a tremendous amount of noise, everyone in the office will turn and stare at you. Including the boss.
5. Check the feed tray to see if there is adequate blank paper. If not, please refill to maximum capacity for other people's usage too.
4. Press the 'start' button. If unable to find the start button, please use the sense called Sight to help you locate the button.
5. Wait for copier to work its magic.
6. Take copied sheet and check against original. If satisfactory, place it aside.
7. Now this is the tricky part. Reverse the page that was copied(because we're doing DOUBLE PAGES), and press the 'start' button on a FRESH PIECE OF PAPER.
8. Once copying is done, examine position and printing of the paper. You have to ask yourself these questions like,
"Does it print on the bottom side? Does it print on the side going in first? Is the orientation correct?" because all copiers are not the same. Bear that in mind.
9. When the correct orientation has been achieved, insert the 1st copied sheet in the correct orientation and press 'start'.
10. Cross your fingers that your
wild guessing prediction is correct.
11a. If yes, please proceed to 12.
11b. If no, please repeat step 7 onwards until you are able to reach 12.
12. Remove printed(both sides!) sheet and examine your handy work. Revel in its utter complexity, as well as its simplicity of double-sided photocopying. After that, place it aside, 1st page down so that the page order is not disturbed.
13. Repeat from step 3 onwards until all pages of interest have been photocopied(on double sides!).
Note: If your copier has option for 'double-sided printing' by auto feed, you can simply bypass step 3 onwards.
Viola~ Your very own stack of double sided copied papers! Wow, look at the clock! Looks like that's all the time we have this week. Tune in again next week for tips on How to Send Mail. Have a great week, Mr. Ping Office Boy cum Writer-for-Livewell cum Logistics signing off!
Posted by melvin at 8:31 PM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Technique i learned
Welcome back to Mr Ping Office Boy! After a week of doing stuff, let's review what I've learned. Because my attachment requires me to list 3 skills/techniques I've learned, I have to start taking note of the things I learned now. Hmm... let's see... I think I'll feature the skill which I've perfected by performing it over 120 times in the office: How to seal an enevelope with precision.
How To Seal An Enevelope With Precision
****************************************************************
1. Obtain sponge(you know those sponges that the cashiers at NTUC/Supermarkets use when they want to take plastic bags) and make sure it's not too saturated with water(not dripping) or unsaturated(that when you rub it no water comes out).
2. Insert desired contents into enevelope.
3. Write/stick address on the front, the right way up.
4. Select stamp with adequete value so that it will not be rejected.
5. Place stamp on damp sponge and press lightly, allowing moisture to moisten the underside of the stamp. This moisturises the dried adhesive and makes it active, allowing it to stick to the enevelope of choice.
6. Here comes the tricky part. Flip the enevelope, and then take the sponge, and slide it over the dried adhesive area in one smooth motion. For this to be done in one smooth motion, the sponge must fufil the above citeria(see step 1). If done well, this step is crucial to applying just the right amount of moisture to ensure maximum adhesiveness, but with minimal moisture overflow.
7. Once that is done, place the sponge on top of the holder and fold the moisturised part down quickly. Make sure that the flap goes down straight, if not excess will be created, resulting in a less-than-perfect sealing that is crooked.
8. Apply pressure to double check that it is sealed and
viola! The perfectly sealed eneveloped. Bask in it's apparent perfectness, with a balance of sheer precision and raw moisture!
I'm sure my lecturers who are grading me are going to be so impressed!
Whoops, look like we're running out of time for this episode. Tune in next week for our segment on How To Photocopy Both Sides. Until then, Mr Ping Office Boy signing off!
Posted by melvin at 9:40 PM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Upgrade
Say bye bye to Mr Ping Office Boy, and say hello to Mr Ping Office Boy Upgraded! My duties have been level-ed up from taking out the trash, photocopying, mailing letters to writing columns for the magazine and doing research! Oh wow. What an advancement.
10 Things I Did
********************************************************
1. Reached slightly later then yesterday and took out the trash.
2. Started on searching for Training Departments again.
3. Continued my address typing.
4. Went for lunch.
5. Came back, recieved assignment for doing 2 columns.
6. More work thrown to me to research on some stuff.
7. Mailed some letters and checked the mail.
8.
Erm.. run out of things to write. Went to toilet to take a dump.
9. Finished up my typing of addresses(about 240 in total).
10. Did some letters for sending out before leaving office.
It seems like the office has very good 风水(
feng shui) for taking a dump. Everytime I step in, I feel like defacating. I wonder why..
Posted by melvin at 9:38 PM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Office work
Okay, apparently my company doesn't operate early in the morning as opposed to Biopolis, which is like just 5 mins away. At Biopolis, the land of innovation and discovery in the field of Life Sciences, work starts at around 8.45am. On my side, I was told 9.30am to 10am would be okay to come in. So I reached at slightly before 9.30am(mis-timed a bit) and had to wait about 20mins before the first soul came in. Note to self: Make sure to reach after 9.45am. What comes next is yes, our favourite section of the post: The 10 things I did today! Hooray!
10 things I did today
******************************************************
1. Arrived at office too early.
2. Read some magazines before starting to search for hospitals in the region(again. Why couldn't Clement finish up more >_< lol)
3. Then got asked by Wilmer to put magazines into the enevelopes, and then asked me to prepare more after I'm done with that.
4. Went for lunch.
5. Started on the letters again.
6. Started to search for hospital training departments for Anaesthesists with the mention from Boss.
7. Mace gave me additional work in the form of typing out clinic addresses.
8. I'm running out of things to write, so this slot is reserved for toilet break :)
9. Um, toilet break?
10. Left office with some free stuff to bring home.
The ride home was the exact opposite from the ride to work. The ride to work was spacious even, with seats for me to sit on the train and bus, which the bus had only 5 people on board from Buona Vista.
The ride back, is pure hell. Bodies crammed into metal tin cans with plenty of B.O. The guy behind me seemed to be emanating such an odour, and I was barely able to keep myself from gagging. Found an air pocket with fresh(er) air to keep the heart pumping. Damn I hate those with B.O. Doors should have a sensor to detect those with B.O. and quarantine them into a seperate container so that they can get a taste of what it's like to inhale other people's B.O.
Maybe they could get really, really irritating, pieces-of-shit, smooth-talking-asshole sales people in gas masks or on oxygen tanks to try to push their products which would be deodourant, to them for the whole duration.
Salesperson: *From behind gas mask*
I see you're in this special cabin! This means you have B.O! Give me 5 mins, 5 mins only! Come I show you this new deodourant, very good one! Huh? You don't have B.O.? Then where are you here? Aiyah don't bluff me la, come I show you very good one... *repeats until person gets off bus*
I'm sure this will serve to be a solution(both B.O. and the sales targets of the sales people)
On the MRT was slightly better, no B.O. (or rather, at tolerant levels.) But in the morning 3 guys happened to be standing upstream of me. Upstream as in not upstream of the gene, but smiliar. Being upstream in an MRT means being nearer to the head of the train and your current location. This position results in the airflow that picks up everything and you end up breathing it in. Particularly refers to odour. The 3 guys seemed to smell of a combination of shit, oil and whatnot. Immediately I moved to a position further away and heaved a
smell sigh of relief. We should have thought of this B.O. scanner-thingy earlier for our bioinnovation haha!
More mudane tasks tomorrow. Am I up to it? You betcha :
Posted by melvin at 9:29 PM
Monday, September 11, 2006
Mr Office Boy
After hearing what other's said about Biopolis' Supervisors, I'm suddenly grateful for my posting. For my attachment, I simply have to follow orders and do paperwork. It's that simple. And the people are pretty friendly, 2 or 3 jokers around. Sounds fun to be there although the work is pretty darn boring. Let me list what I did today,
The 10 things I did on my first day
****************************************************************
1. Sat in for the first meeting at 10+am. Boss asked me to listen and there will be meetings every monday.
2. Helped to bring up some items from Alex's car.
3. Wilmer then handed me my first assingment, to search for doctors from a particular department for a conference.
4. Prepared a package to be mailed out.
5. Went for lunch soon after starting my assignment.
6. Did some photocopying, which required some brain power. Why? The brain power was used figure out the way to put in the paper to photocopy BOTH sides of the paper.
7. Prepared the photocopied paper to be mailed out.
8. Entered new subscriptions, and did stickers to be pasted on the enevelopes.
9. Boss left, then started to read magazines on my desk while chatting more frantically.
10. Left office to meet the rest before coming home.
Swell. I hope tomorrow it'll be the same. No, wait. I
don't want it to be
exactly the same, but the
same kind of trivial tasks to be done =X
Posted by melvin at 9:01 PM
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Attachment starts
Tomorrow's the 11th of September, a day to be remembered by the world. A day of great tragedy, a day the cloud of depression and distrust cloaked the country.
And by that I mean that tomorrow, ATTACHMENT STARTS.
For all those going attachment, I found 2 rules that would be useful.
Rules
******************************************************
Rule #1: Lick the boss's boots cause the boss is always right.
Rule #2: Anytime the boss is wrong, refer to rule #1.
Advice
******************************************************
1: Play it safe during the first week.
2: Then make full use of your lunch break time.
3: Get to know the nice people so that (read #4)
4: In case of trouble, get them to help you
5: Look busy
6: Print your reports in the lab(for those working at labs), don't be shy use full colour
That's all that got passed on to me, so now, I'm passing it on to you :)
May the Force be with you.
This sentence is in memory of those who died in the 9-11 Attacks, let us remember them forever, for their sacrifice and courage.Update 1: Kenneth is to be credited for the advice dished out above =D
Posted by melvin at 10:16 PM
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Back from outer space
Okay so I'm back. Bought a few items which amounted to about RM465 (SGD$199) which I guess is pretty average haha. The attachment postings were just released yesterday and guess I'm going to the company alone -__-"
Apparently the company I'm going to is not faring well haha. And the boss seems like a total bitch(with some real life experinces shared by my coursemates and friends). Swell. And it's six months there, doing something for
healthcare magazine and
medical confrences.
Here's to hoping I don't end up as cheap labour or a office boy/trash collector/coffee boy/scapegoat all rolled into one.
Posted by melvin at 1:07 PM
Friday, September 01, 2006
End of exams
It's the end of my exams. I think we pretty much screwed up the final presentation compared to others but hey, it's the last assesment ha. Took some pics which will be uploaded later. The main point of this post is when I was queuing to buy my memory card, some kid was kinda blocking my way. So I just stood behind him(since I'm taller Ha!) and waited. Then a middle aged guy, presumably his father, tapped him on the shoulder and said,
"Eh, let uncle stand. Don't block."
Me: "*looks around*
Where got uncle?"Wa lau eh! I thought only Jasper would get that type of comment =X Haha. Wearing shirt and dress pants really does add years to your age(apparently). I feel so old now, especially that the semester has ended and there are no more exams to be taken cause I'm leaving the education system.
Suddenly I feel that studying beats working. Cause when you study, there's always that goal there for you: Pass the bloody module. When you work, there seems to be no goal. You don't do well, there's no
"It's only 20%/30%. Work harder for the final exam la." There's only
"I screwed up. No more promotions for the next 3 years." The icing on the cake is when you finally work to support yourself, and when you lose your job, you go hungry! Wow! Haha. Erratic post again -__-
Genting from 3rd to 7th Sep. Call/sms me if you have enough money to spare for both of us =D
Posted by melvin at 10:27 PM